Today's surprise

So this is today.  I receive an e-mail from Writers Digest informing me that the deadline for their annual writing competition is basically tonight.  (it is a general e-mail, I do not get special e-mails from Writers Digest.)  When I saw the headline of the e-mail a little light bulb went off in my head and the gears began to turn.  Would my manuscript be ready for something of  this magnitude?  Could I finish editing by that time?  Is this possible/ logical step for me now? 

So, before you hear my final decision, you should know the events leading up to it first.  Last night was horrible.  Horrible in the essence that I had two loud coughing fits, one resulting in a small amount of vomit.  Unfortunately, also last night, Ali suffered a coughing fit and threw up resulting in her sleeping in our bed.  Not only am I excruciatingly tired, so tired the idea of staying up late to edit almost makes me cry.  But Katie had the ever special appointment informing me that she needs tubes in her ears.

Now, me being a person who likes to know what she is getting into is immersed in something I know nothing about.  The previous questions disappear and these take its place:  How common is it for a 10mo. old to need tubes in her ears?  What exactly does it mean for her and for me and my husband?  What are the risks?  How soon can it be done (I don't want her to be in pain longer than absolutely necessary)?  And numerous questions which haven't found the correct path to coherency yet.

My answer is no.  I will not be sending my manuscript to the contest.  As much as I would love to see it fly, at this point it would probably be tossed, burned and laughed at. That's OK.  As of right now, at 8:04pm both of my kids are happy.  They are what make me happy.  Writing and editing will wait tonight, but I will try again tomorrow!

Just yesterday I found out that Katie, my almost 10mo. Old, still has a horrible ears infection. At this point in time I'm calling it chronic and we have an appointment today and tomorrow to get next round of shots of Rocepherin. If that doesn't work then we need to get tubes put in her ears. The doctor told me that it is common in babies her age to get this done, and she very well could simply be placating me. Either way my emotions are a mixed bag. This would however explain why she doesn't sleep as well as Ali did at her age. Ali is something different altogether. For a long time she did an excellent job sleeping all night in her room by herself. Lately, however, she wakes up every hour or so screaming or sweaty and eventually ends up in our bed. I know countless resources say if you want to be a serious writer then you need to write every day. Sadly, for me that just hasn't happened. It may just sound like excuses but for the past three weeks one family member had a cold and of course trouble sleeping. Not to mention our Internet has been spotty. Finally bringing us to the sweetness of the bittersweet if Katie gets ear tubes, hopefully she can sleep better and my nights can go back to writing, serious writing. And good-bye to random time spot editing.

Obsessive ideas

Finding time to write was interesting. Often, even when I did find time to physically write I wasn't even sure how I wanted the story to go at that particular time. Ali was a handful. She was just starting to walk and really, really loved dumping and emptying buckets of toys. I would take her for walks and try to think out plot and characters, develop scenes and setting but sometimes I just couldn't force it; or worse have difficulty thinking it through. There were also some days where I couldn't stop thinking about a scene. I would lie awake at night going over different scenarios, different versions, different behaviors and reactions of characters. There are nights and they are still rare, where my mind won't allow me to sleep until it is satisfied with the scene. The next day I would furiously write down my thoughts (during nap time) before they left forever. I know I'm lucky, I know there are many of aspiring writers who don't have nap time to write. Again, if it weren't for my kids, I'm not sure how much writing I would have done. Now that the writing bug has successfully bitten I sometimes feel as if I don't get enough time to write. My first manuscript is finished, but still needs polished. And I am currently writing a second book. I have a very energetic three year old and a mischievous 9 month old occupying my time. In whatever spare time I have I balance polishing, writing, researching (proper query techniques and facts for book two) and of course time with my wonderful and ever patient husband who still deserves time from the person he married. I'm not complaining, I love what I've chosen to do. And I'll get it all done too, it's just a matter of how long it will take.

At the start

The life I live now is nothing as I planned or expected. It did, however, turn out better. The first and foremost reason of who I am and why I am happy is my kids. I am the proud mother of two amazing girls! The second reason would not have happened without the first. I was a stay-at-home mommy for nine months, and in desperate need to do something that required my mind to stretch. I love my kids more than anything, but adult thought and conversation is necessary.. So when Alana was nine months (she is now three) I started writing. At first writing was something challenging and creative to do. I loved it, and of course I still do. I did not think about publishing or even writing a novel for that matter. After I finished the first few chapters, which ended up being chapter one and chapter six) I was enthralled with the challenge presented before me. Not only to come up with a great story, but to write it and arrange it is it flows and actually makes sense. This ended up being one of the greatest challenges I never thought I would face and one I am still fighting today.