This changes everything

So, yesterday morning I had a deep rooted feeling and decided to check it out. Turns out I (and my recently strange dreams) are right...I'm pregnant. Now this wasn't a complete shock to my system and plans because my husband and I were planning on having a third baby, we're were just planning on trying about 6 months from now. So now my baby free summer is no longer a possibility and the "spare time" I dreamed about for my writing just was erased.

So we told my first two girls. My 3yr old is excited while my 1yr old cried. (I think she was just hungry but the timing was perfect regardless.)

But instead of slowing down, like any normal person would, I decided to send a query to an agent. I sent out one query to Hannah Bowman, I hope she likes it, but even if she doesn't I'll keep going. I'll keep writing during Curious George and Barbie Princess Charm School. I'll keep reading writing technique books in the short time I have by myself when the kids are asleep. And I'll bust my butt to get a lot done before baby #3 comes, (probably late March or early April.)

Feeling small

The summer has gone relativity quickly and preschool starts next week. Preschool for me means a little more time to write and read.  My little one may still take a nap in the morning and that is prime time! I have successfully re-edited my first manuscript as well as revised both the synopsis and query letter. I also have read Voices of Dragons to help me get into the correct frame of mind to continue writing my second manuscript. However, going through agent info and reading blogs I find I'm not alone.  This is both good and bad. I also found out two people I went to high school with have already published books. Although I am incredibly happy for both of them it leaves me more than a little discouraged. Some days I feel as though it is an unattainable goal, at least for me. In the meantime while I'm trudging through the heavy black mud that is trying to get published, I am going to make pizza crust for my family's movie night, to be followed by family coloring (of princesses of course.)

I'll submit soon to agents again and keep you updated.

Finally back!

Not only are we back from vacation in WI/MN, but we are almost back into a routine. The time change really messed with the kids sleeping schedule. But the girls have been slowly getting back into a decent night time. Ali is going back to gymnastics and this week she also starts dance class! (she is so excited.). We have tried to go to story time at the library, and finally able to actually have down time. We all had a blast, but as always it's good to be back. There are two things I am started to get excited about: 1. The Olympics are starting soon!! 2. Back to school shopping!! The Olympics are simply amazing, when else do you get to see athletes from so many other countries compete? I always cheer for USA and Japan. And for whatever reason I've enjoyed back-to-school shopping since I was little. Plus it's a good excuse to gather supplies for my writing! Speaking of writing, that front has taken some interesting turns. After my recent reading I've decided both of my manuscripts need something else. The most amazing part is I didn't think I could add anything else to my first MS. But the more I incorporate this change in my mind the better it sounds. At this rate I'm not sure any of my writing will ever be lassified as finished but it's still fun to do. I'm also waiting to hear from winters digest your story completion, I just checked and they are still voting. So I will make the necessary changes to both MS's and the specific additions to my second MS (I'm still working on that part.) as or the word journal I plan to start again today!

Typing in a sleep state

So, my oldest woke up early this morning and my youngest apparently has five teeth coming in and does not want to sleep. Needless to say I a currently very tired, and watching my youngest eat one of her cardboard stacking blocks. As much as I want to be I can't be upset with her, she seems so happy walking around the living room picking up any toy she finds. She recently had her first birthday so I have been really busy with that. And now I am planning ur trip to Wisconsin to see my mother and step father. The almost week long trip should prove exciting, but I'm most worried about the time change. It's just one of those things you never think about until you have small children and you think about a routine bedtime for them. With all excuses firmly in place I have only been able to write a few hundered words a day, not as much as I wanted but it's still something. I also have been researching and brainstorming and reading a new book as market research. It's different than I expected it to be but very interesting, and giving me great ideas. And my husband gave me a free "out" to sleep and I'm going to take it. Goodnight!

Finally back

The week at Turkey Run was amazing but busy. We trailed, we picknicked, we cooked out, we played volleyball, played on playgrounds, fed birds, saw raccoons, and swam (a lot). In between all of that we managed time to sit and relax and I did have time to write. Granted not as much as I would have liked, but some. I did however do pretty well in my journal and have been keeping pretty close to my initial weekly word quota! Yay me! I didn't finish my second manuscript, I didn't really expect to I was a simple hope, but I did finish a few more chapters. And the final big plus...I had inspiration for another book! I'm not sure if I'll write this one next, but I'll finish this one first.

The summer starts

You know it's summer when something happens everyday. Wether it is going to the pool, off to one of the many parks, going to gymnastics or the upcoming swimming lessons, library events or playdates with cousins and/ or friends. The relaxing summer I dreamed of simply doesn't exist. I did it to myself, planning all of the classes, free events and picnics. And I've been thinking of trying a different dance class later In July. I also know I worry too much about the girls getting overheated or dehydrated when playing outside. On top of all of this next week is the annual family Turkey Run trip. I am currently planning and prepping for almost a week of cookouts, trails and playgrounds. (Ali loves the tire swing) On the writing front, I've been slow. There have been ten minutes here, twenty minutes there, to either write or edit. I bought more paper and a notebook to keep track of my word quota. With the impending vacation I am giving myself a very lofty goal: to finish my second manuscript! For continuous writing purposes I will set my weekly word quota at the level that is manageable for managing two little ones and I'll adjust as time goes on. If all goes well I will not only have lost more weight walking trails but I will come home with a completed second manuscript! Wish me luck!

Life realizations

Not much actually happened this weekend, or in the past few days. I've been looking into what conferences are happening where. Then I began to think about the possibility of me going. Ali is still pretty attached and Katie is still literally attached because I am still nursing at night. (I'm beginning the weaning process). Now Preston and I are talking about our third, which will probably be attached for at least the first six months. After thinking about this fact for a while I came to a few realizations: 1. There is virtually no possibility of me making a multi-day writing conference. The further I thought about this, even if I somehow could get over my aversion to the price of said event, the more I realized I want to be this type of mother. I fully realized that, right now, I could hire a baby sitter, allow them to stay with Preston (probably incredibly unhappy the entire time, or some other option I haven't thought about) it just isn't what I want, that is why I haven't done it. 2. So now, not dis lauding conferences in my areseanal, I've decided to work solely on my ability to write. I'm also learning the ins and outs of on-line social networking sites. To work solely on my craft I've recently adopted a new "training technique" as it were. I have been reading The Art of War for Writers by James Scott Bell. I love the suggestion of having a word quota for the week. I am going to try that and make a daily journal of what I have written, if anything and how much I have written. On a more personal note some friends and I have entered the Color me Rad 5K in Indy. It's going to be so much fun. From what I understand the runners all wear plain white shirts and each carry color packs to throw. When it starts we all run and pelt each other with color, then have an awesome commerative shirt when it's done!

Aren't reality pills fun?

So it has officially been a week since I sent the agent query. I am going to assume my e-mail went (sadly) straight to the slush pile. When this realization hit me, so did two others. The chances are my writing just plain sucks and I'm not going to give up. So here is my plan. Continue getting books from the library and improve my writing. Also, I have started writing short stories. I am planning on entering one in the "your story" competition from Writers Digest. I am also researching magazines that fit my genre and plan/ write short stories in hopes of publication from that. In the meantime I'm still writing my second manuscript. I've heard that to master anything you need to spend 10,000 hours doing it. I'm not keeping track, but I know I have a long way to go. (wish me luck) With the kids this past weekend was pretty low key. Preston was sick, as Ali had been sick later last week, so basically we stayed inside deciding no to spread the infection. Ali spent the day with Grandma Daniel yesterday and from what I understand she was able to choose everything from where to eat, go and do. Basically Ali had a day where baby Katie didn't command all the attention, she was away from Mommy and Daddy saying "no", and was able to choose whatever she wanted. (she chose to eat a Panera, then shop at the mall and finish it all up with watching movies at Grandma's house). Needless to say she had a blast. Katie is walking more and more, strengthening her little baby muscles.

What constitues a good Mother's day?

First and foremost I want to say happy Mother's day to all mothers.  It's probably one of the most frustrating jobs in the world, but the only one where white hot anger can be easily dispelled by an "I love you Mommy, you're my best friend."

This past weekend was interesting and memorable for a few reasons, not including the holiday.  Katelyn took her first actual baby steps!! (That is the positive memory.)  The negative memory is getting a call from my husband, who is watching 4 kids, saying he needs help immediately.  My sister-in-law go to fine my nephew crying with blood coming down his forehead.  My niece is crying, is terrified and naturally crying as well as my oldest daughter.  From what I understand as to what happened my nephew was banging rocks against things to see what sounds they made and what music he created.  My daughter, for whatever reason, decided to hit his head with her rock.  He is fine, no stitches, he didn't go to the hospital, the bleeding stopped quickly and our daughter was punished.  Terrifying moment aside my husband made sure I didn't have to worry about anything from cleaning to cooking to corralling both kids during church.  All I want is for this to be a one time occurrence. 

While my hubby had both kids during church, I was able to fine tune a query letter to one of the agents for the Andrea Brown agency.  I'm not sure how many time I read and re-read both the letter and the first 10 pages for the submission but I'm hoping for something.  The only things that worries me is that I haven't received the automated e-mail from the agency telling me "they received my e-mail."  I'll wait it out for a week or two, it was a 4 week exclusive query.  Then maybe I'll have the guts to call and see if it in fact was sent, (and they just don't like it.)  Either way, I've started again.  (And sadly, my delusions still exist, I'm not quite sure how to dull those.)

Busy brick wall weekend

So this weekend Preston wanted to work on our front yard landscaping. Which basically took up the entire day. The first wall is finished, and naturally Ali was the perfect helper. Now, there is no need to explain the small events that lead me to my anger, the end result is me not writing. But multiple factor aggregated me early Saturday morning and the small simple fact that I have edited my manuscript so mush that I need to completely re-do both of my synopses, not to mention my query letter. Long story short the last straw of my composure was broken and my anger was decidedly present. Preston, is anything but appreciative of my mood and called upon a previous agreement I was unable to write for the last few days. The agreement was if my writing ever effected the mood of family then I need to take a "break" and he wanted me to not write for three days. Not only was I reluctant to accept this but I took a day off of my penalty. In hindsight it was good because it allowed me the time to think about exactly how I'm going to re-write basically everything in my agent prep folder. For the most part the girls were good. Their cousin Noah had his sixth birthday party so the both had a blast. Saturday was spent working outside, so for a switch Sunday morning I did the chores I needed to do and basically left Preston to take care of the kids. He didn't like all of the things he had to do like get them breakfast, clothed, teeth brushed and kept generally happy. I laughed and took a shower, and laughed a little more (laughing all on the inside of course). I'd say it was a positive weekend. On a side note I'm learning the ins and outs of Pinterest!!

Yesterday...amazing

Yesterday (Wednesday May 2nd, 2012) was amazing from the primary reason of feeling productive.  I took the girls to Ali's gymnastics class in the morning, then it was off to a picnic lunch at the park where we have a small, but free, zoo.  And who doesn't love free things?  Luckily I was able to communicate with my sister-in-law and we had lunch with her cousins.  Then the park's playground last.  We came home around 2pm and somehow I had the energy to clean the kitchen, living room and do four loads of laundry.  Keep in mind I didn't fold any of it, so I have piles of clean laundry screeching my name. 

That night I was awake enough to sit at the computer for an hour and edit my first manuscript.  Which gave way to this morning after dropping Ali off at preschool (big cheer for preschool!) and getting Katie to sleep, I actually finished editing it.  Now I am currently in the process of refining my query letter and synopses in extremely high hopes of sending them out to agents again.  For the first time in a long time I feel forward progress on my writing!

Today's surprise

So this is today.  I receive an e-mail from Writers Digest informing me that the deadline for their annual writing competition is basically tonight.  (it is a general e-mail, I do not get special e-mails from Writers Digest.)  When I saw the headline of the e-mail a little light bulb went off in my head and the gears began to turn.  Would my manuscript be ready for something of  this magnitude?  Could I finish editing by that time?  Is this possible/ logical step for me now? 

So, before you hear my final decision, you should know the events leading up to it first.  Last night was horrible.  Horrible in the essence that I had two loud coughing fits, one resulting in a small amount of vomit.  Unfortunately, also last night, Ali suffered a coughing fit and threw up resulting in her sleeping in our bed.  Not only am I excruciatingly tired, so tired the idea of staying up late to edit almost makes me cry.  But Katie had the ever special appointment informing me that she needs tubes in her ears.

Now, me being a person who likes to know what she is getting into is immersed in something I know nothing about.  The previous questions disappear and these take its place:  How common is it for a 10mo. old to need tubes in her ears?  What exactly does it mean for her and for me and my husband?  What are the risks?  How soon can it be done (I don't want her to be in pain longer than absolutely necessary)?  And numerous questions which haven't found the correct path to coherency yet.

My answer is no.  I will not be sending my manuscript to the contest.  As much as I would love to see it fly, at this point it would probably be tossed, burned and laughed at. That's OK.  As of right now, at 8:04pm both of my kids are happy.  They are what make me happy.  Writing and editing will wait tonight, but I will try again tomorrow!

Just yesterday I found out that Katie, my almost 10mo. Old, still has a horrible ears infection. At this point in time I'm calling it chronic and we have an appointment today and tomorrow to get next round of shots of Rocepherin. If that doesn't work then we need to get tubes put in her ears. The doctor told me that it is common in babies her age to get this done, and she very well could simply be placating me. Either way my emotions are a mixed bag. This would however explain why she doesn't sleep as well as Ali did at her age. Ali is something different altogether. For a long time she did an excellent job sleeping all night in her room by herself. Lately, however, she wakes up every hour or so screaming or sweaty and eventually ends up in our bed. I know countless resources say if you want to be a serious writer then you need to write every day. Sadly, for me that just hasn't happened. It may just sound like excuses but for the past three weeks one family member had a cold and of course trouble sleeping. Not to mention our Internet has been spotty. Finally bringing us to the sweetness of the bittersweet if Katie gets ear tubes, hopefully she can sleep better and my nights can go back to writing, serious writing. And good-bye to random time spot editing.

Obsessive ideas

Finding time to write was interesting. Often, even when I did find time to physically write I wasn't even sure how I wanted the story to go at that particular time. Ali was a handful. She was just starting to walk and really, really loved dumping and emptying buckets of toys. I would take her for walks and try to think out plot and characters, develop scenes and setting but sometimes I just couldn't force it; or worse have difficulty thinking it through. There were also some days where I couldn't stop thinking about a scene. I would lie awake at night going over different scenarios, different versions, different behaviors and reactions of characters. There are nights and they are still rare, where my mind won't allow me to sleep until it is satisfied with the scene. The next day I would furiously write down my thoughts (during nap time) before they left forever. I know I'm lucky, I know there are many of aspiring writers who don't have nap time to write. Again, if it weren't for my kids, I'm not sure how much writing I would have done. Now that the writing bug has successfully bitten I sometimes feel as if I don't get enough time to write. My first manuscript is finished, but still needs polished. And I am currently writing a second book. I have a very energetic three year old and a mischievous 9 month old occupying my time. In whatever spare time I have I balance polishing, writing, researching (proper query techniques and facts for book two) and of course time with my wonderful and ever patient husband who still deserves time from the person he married. I'm not complaining, I love what I've chosen to do. And I'll get it all done too, it's just a matter of how long it will take.

At the start

The life I live now is nothing as I planned or expected. It did, however, turn out better. The first and foremost reason of who I am and why I am happy is my kids. I am the proud mother of two amazing girls! The second reason would not have happened without the first. I was a stay-at-home mommy for nine months, and in desperate need to do something that required my mind to stretch. I love my kids more than anything, but adult thought and conversation is necessary.. So when Alana was nine months (she is now three) I started writing. At first writing was something challenging and creative to do. I loved it, and of course I still do. I did not think about publishing or even writing a novel for that matter. After I finished the first few chapters, which ended up being chapter one and chapter six) I was enthralled with the challenge presented before me. Not only to come up with a great story, but to write it and arrange it is it flows and actually makes sense. This ended up being one of the greatest challenges I never thought I would face and one I am still fighting today.